Always keep in mind, Darcy, that no matter what has happened, you did the very best you could.
And so did those who may have let you down.
I need to say I’m sorry. I am humbled by all the mistakes I’ve made, and I want to apologize from day one for offending anyone, especially you.
When we got married, Kevin had the idea that the second song in the postlude, after Jeff Buckley’s Hallelujah, should be I’m Sorry (from a movie soundtrack…will have to track down). I remember being perplexed about why he would choose an apology love song, and he explained how we would certainly need to apologize in our marriage, and we may as well own up off the bat.
Every day and week I feel like I make some small transgression. I silently ask for forgiveness all the time. Sometimes I manage to be brave enough to own up to it, many other times I’ve simply hoped that the consequences would go unnoticed and I’d get off the hook. I know that I haven’t always taken full responsibility for my life. I’ve been foolish. I realized recently just how much power I’ve given away.
As my favorite life coach, Veronica Krestow, says, “You have to fess up to rise up.” I know that I’m only human, but I am ready to finally accept responsibility for the karmic cycles that I perpetuate in my life. I want to be a creator, not a reactor. In order to live my life unapologetically, I need to own up when I falter. Know that I always make my best effort, and sadly that may not be good enough at times.
I am especially sorry for the times when I’m simply self-absorbed, and don’t take the moment to connect. Or I simply dismiss that fact that we are in each others’ lives to present essential life lessons.
Yet, most of all, I’m sorry for trying so hard to be someone other than my true self. I’ve conditioned myself to dampen my light to meet the needs of those around me, adapting and conforming, and sometimes forgetting why I’m here.
Despite all my self-perceived faults, I still feel destined to be a spiritual leader. I am ready to be a peacemaker, visionary, and Sister, with a capital S. I’m ready to live my audacious dreams, and will happily share this journey with you, should you choose to join us.
I also need to stop apologizing. So, I truly hope that you will accept this apology for being anything less than the loyal and wholehearted friend we all crave and deserve.
Light and love,