I’ve taken to calling my ex-husband, my “Best-Ex.” On good days, he refers to me as “My Fabulous Ex-Wife.”
With 41% of first time marriages ending in divorce, I’m not alone in having gone through this journey (though everyone’s journey has its uniqueness). While we came close to divorce several times in our relationship, we managed to make it a good nine years (plus several years of living together and over twenty years since we first dated).
Though not as either of us planned, we are happy to have a fabulous son together (despite our follies in marriage). With the demands of co-parenting, and several visits weekly, we probably see each other with more regularity than we often did when we were married. Isn’t it ironic.
Today would have been our tenth anniversary. As it happens, on our 7th we decided to have Clark, and our 9th we were divorcing. Despite having ended in divorce, I certainly wouldn’t have opted out of marriage. I would have done more to maintain our sense of connection though, since ultimately that is a necessity for a thriving marriage. I would have preferred the fairytale, but then again, we all might.
I’m sharing this now, in part to challenge myself, and in part to get my feelings on the subject off my chest. Ironically I could never get him to read my adventures on Vicarious Nomad when we were married. Now that we are divorced, I can pretty much be guaranteed that he will read everything I write.
The reality is that divorce and co-parenting are real parts of my life that I deal with daily, as do other moms and dads out there.
I am super thankful every day that my Best-Ex chooses to actively be a part of Clark’s life and a great dad. Clark always goes to, and comes back from, visits to “Daddy’s house” smiling, happy, and energetic. Despite our bumps along the way, we are working out the Best-Ex status as well as could be expected. It is a work in progress.
All the best to my Best-Ex,