#WhyIMarch: A heartfelt response to my skeptical husband

#WhyIMarch: A heartfelt response to my skeptical husband

#WhyIMarch: I am in absolute awe of this moment in #Herstory. It’s a beautiful experience to witness and celebrate the diverse social justice causes that women stand for. It’s wonderful to see generations together, and the sisterly solidarity that defines us. It was simply delightful to peacefully march with my daughters, mother, sister and twin-in-law in the liquid sunshine on the Oregon Coast.

Yet, I returned from the march to a barrage of questions from my husband, who doesn’t understand why we are marching. Prior to going, he had made it very clear that he didn’t want us to “waste our time,” so I was forced to try to defend #whyimarch. We used to debate this topic back when I marched for climate restoration and protested the Iraq War, but now my answer feels so much deeper.

My genuine answer to #whyimarch is so deep that it’s challenging to share in a polite family dinner conversation or in a quick FB post. Simply put, I believe that it’s our male-dominated society that has gotten us into this political/social/environmental mess, and that the solutions will only come from/by women taking our rightful leadership roles. It’s as simple as making kindness our top political priority and ending the “race” to compete/deplete. It feels like our/my peaceful march of solidarity matters to the whole planet, and our fate as humankind.

When I was asked by my husband Kevin to explain, “Why?!” Why would you march?!”, I felt like I was being forced to answer why I go to church by an atheist or why I vote to someone who voted for you-know-who. We’re currently in marriage counseling, and it’s in part because he doesn’t support/understand/approve of my radical/feminist tendencies/desires/passions. So, I’m not going to claim that my first response was entirely openhearted. I wasn’t rude, but it felt like a personal expression/experience that I didn’t want to have to justify, especially after feeling proud and elated to be part of this amazing movement/moment in time.

After trying to avoid an argument with a somewhat cursory upbeat response about how there were over 1300 marching with us from City Hall down HWY 101 in Newport, and how it start to pour rain just as the march was starting, and how much fun the girls had marching, dancing “Girl time! Girl time!” and signing Guthrie’s classic This land is your land, this land is my land. (while I was half-watching the news of the march, as we were out for a family dinner at the Roadside 101). He seemed initially intrigued, but continued to press, as though he was unsatisfied with my responses.

Kevin continued to argue against every point I made, not being satisfied with the truth I was trying my best to speak. Our 3yo, Teagan Brenna, was uncharacteristically emotional at dinner and crying over stolen fries, drink drama and any little thing, and I’m sure that it was because of our “friendly debate.” My patience was tested throughout the conversation and dinner. I wish that I could say that I was able to speak my power and truth in that moment, but that’s why I “blog,” so that I can reflect about my authentic life lessons. So, here’s really #whyimarch:

  1. I march to be a radical and beautiful part of #Herstory.
  2. I march because I believe #WeAreTheOnes we’ve been waiting for, and it’s time to live by the #HopiNationPrayer.
  3. I march because we need to systemically change America’s #BrokenElectionSystem.
  4. I march because we deserve more than two corporate political parties.
  5. I march because I believe the #GreenParty could become the #RadicalThirdParty we need to create change.
  6. I march because I would love to vote for #Michelle2020 and/or #Madonna2020.
  7. I march because we can longer wait for men to fix the mess they’ve made based on #Lack/AttackMentality.
  8. I march to protect the planet from the #HumanRatRace.
  9. I march to show that we can all be practice/share/support #ClimateSolutions.
  10. I march for #SevenGenerations and the grandchildren I will never meet in this lifetime.
  11. I march for #UniversalHealthCare that prioritizes preventative health and holistic wellness. 
  12. I march for #ReproductiveRights, #PlannedParenthood and worldwide #FreeBirthControl. 
  13. I march for #EqualPay and humane policies that #HonorsWorkLifeBalance. 
  14. I march for a new political paradigm that #HonorsDiversity and #CelebratesLife.
  15. I march for #HumanKindness and #GlobalGenerosity.
  16. I march because I believe that I #VoteWithMyDollars and create change with #MyOwnTwoHands.
  17. I march to build parks instead of towers, find partners instead of people to fire, create #FeministFriends not foes. 
  18. I march to stand up against genocide and terrorism and war, and march for #Peace&Freedom.
  19. I march because I believe in that #WomenRising is the obvious and beautiful solution.
  20. I march because I feel my #KundaliniPowerRising with the sun each day. 
  21. I march because we are experiencing an #AquarianAwakening.
  22. I march because I believe we are all about to #WakeTheFuckUp.
  23. I march to #BeTheChange, like the necklace I where everyday. 
  24. I march because I need/crave #Solidarity, especially from my #Sisters.
  25. I march because I want to #DareGreatly.
  26. I march to be #PresentOverPerfect.
  27. I march to live with #OutrageousOpenness.
  28. I march to #CreateBigMagic.
  29. I march to #GatherMyTribe.
  30. I march to #ShineMyLight. 
  31. I march because I believe in a #BetterWay and #BetterWorld.
  32. I march to #ConnectMyCommunity and #CreateMyCommunity.
  33. I march because #WeAreAllConnected.
  34. I march for/with my #SoulSisters.
  35. I march for/with #MyDaughters (and for my son).
  36. I march to #UniteMyFamily (even when we are politically divided).
  37. I march to express my #FemininePower.
  38. I march to #ThinkKind, #SpeakKind, #BeKind.
  39. I march to share my #SpiritualMedicine of #DivineLove.
  40. I march because it feels like such an incredible gift to witness #HumanityAwakening.

Most of all, I marched and will continue to march because I believe we all need to take action in each of our unique way to stand up for justice, liberty and equality.

Peace,

Darcy Rose

PS Hopefully my heartfelt list of reasons will help Kevin and anyone else who doesn’t understand #WhyWeMarch.

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One Response to #WhyIMarch: A heartfelt response to my skeptical husband

  1. I’m glad to see that I inspired another post. Our dinner conversation was to encourage all points of view and not just yours. I don’t follow the “liberal” establishment nor do I follow a conservative dogma either, which is hard for you and others to categorize. Let’s get something straight: I questioned the effectiveness of the method of action.

    What did “the march” accomplish? This is the central question that was raised and I am still not clear as to the outcome. Taking direct action at the local level is a lot more effective for sustainable change than sending out FB post and tweets and marching during an event that the local media didn’t even notice and everyone who participated has forgotten why they came, but wanted to go anyway because it was a cultural event not a call to action.

    Let’s have a real conversation about effective methods for community development on issues that really matter. Housing, literacy, economic development, early childhood development, the list goes on…..just don’t march and hold a soggy sign…. do something about it!

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